Hey, McFly! Tell 'em why you really mad.

The manufactured outraged we witnessed around Barack speaking at Notre Dame over this weekend has really managed to crawl up the back of my leg and get my panties all in a bunch. What is wrong with you people? And when I say you people, I do mean that offensively. This man is the president of the United States of America, the first African-American president of the U.S. no less. I considered it an honor that he stood on the corner a block away from my house when he was just Candidate Obama! I could only imagine the glee I would feel if he actually shook my hand and bestowed upon me my bachelors degree.

But looka here protesters - you are so transparent.

Some of you are legitimately outraged at the Church itself because of the overt hypocrisy the Catholic school displayed by choosing a well-known pro-life headliner for commencement. I get it. Take your protests to the Pope. I didn’t hear a peep from him during this whole mess. The fact of the matter is nearly 50% of Catholics don’t consider themselves pro-life (a polite way to say “I’m pro-choice”), and Obama garnered more than 50% of the Catholic vote in the last election. The Catholic Church has a fair amount of soul-searching to do when it comes to this issue. I completely agree with you - back-pedaling and duplicity are never characteristics you’d like to see from the holy-high. But here’s an idea: knock on your local cardinal’s door instead of making a spectacle of some poor kids’ moment in the spotlight. There’s really no need to have yourself LITERALLY carried off the campus in hand-cuffs (ref). What did that solve? Obama still spoke, he still got his honorary degree, and the Pope still hasn’t pontificated one peep.

The rest of you aren’t outraged about the issue of abortion at all. You people - and I do mean that offensively - are even more disgustingly transparent in your preposterous manufacturing of outrage. Look, I know what’s really got your goat. The holiest of holy – NOTRE DAME – the Fighting Irish – the holy grail of academic institutions as far as some of those rednecks who wouldn’t hesitate to call me a n*gg*r in a heartbeat are concerned – saw its purity desecrated via the descent of (gasp) the first BLACK president!! I know - it was already a blow to the gut when a black man became “the man”. Now, just to add insult to injury, this coon’s gonna hand lil’ Sean McLaughlin and Erin O’Reilly their coveted diplomas! On top of that, they’re gonna just GIVE the n*gg*r another goddamn degree! As if he needs it! Especially considering all the hard-earned dollars you had to spend on lil’ Sean and Erin’s tuition because you and your wife of 20 years made too much money to qualify for financial aid!! What a slap in the face, RIGHT?!

Yeah...I thought this was about your position on abortion, right? RIGHT!!!