Thursday, December 27, 2012

Blonde Hair, Don't Care


If I catch one more skillet-fried, black-as-me, chocolate black woman tryna pull off silky blonde hair, imma snatch her by her wig and slam her face against a beauty salon window.

Violence? Yes, VIOLENCE. EARLY. Look ma, that look ain’t for you. IT’S NOT FOR YOU!!! Trust me, you look ridiculous with those goldie-locks. I can assure you no one’s fooled into thinking that’s your natural hair color. What’s more, it just doesn’t look good. Leave blonde to the Mary J. Blige’s and T-Boz’s of the world. It was never meant for the Naomi Campbell’s and India.Aire’s.

Don’t believe me? I can prove it to you. Watch this.

This is Naomi Campbell.

This is Naomi Campbell on blonde.

Any questions?

But, for serious. Bright hair distracts from a dark-skinned woman’s main attraction: her skin.One undeniably awesome feature of blue-black skin is glow. No blemishes. All that melanin blocking out the UV rays makes for softer, supple, strokable, wrinkle-free skin that stands the test of time. You’re obliterating your natural radiance with that mop of straw you’ve slapped up there. And why? That’s like putting vanilla icing on a chocolate cake. I mean… it can be done, and of course it’ll do in a crunch. But if given a choice, who’d wanna ruin the chocolate experience with pasty white goo? I mean… If you’re gonna have some chocolate cake, have some chocolate icing on it for the love of Jehovah.

*sigh* Ok. This blog’s gone too far. Rant complete.

I don’t know why it especially turds my soup to see dark-skinned girls making bone-head beauty moves. Maybe I should blog more about it - somebody’s gotta tell these girls about the perils of tangerine gloss over purple lips. Perhaps a little more delicately next time? I dunno…*shrug*

Ahl holla.


  1. "who’d wanna ruin the chocolate experience with pasty white goo?"

    Allllll kinds of references could be made about that comment. lol

  2. blond hair looks good on black women. dont be fooled by others. I have ms Campbells complexion and blond hair which is my natural hair color.

    a lot of black people have different kinds of hair colors red is also very common.

  3. Many dark skinned people are born with blonde hair. Google dark skin and blonde hair you will see what our African and European descendents blessed us with. There are many more flattering pictures of Naomi with blonde locks. We can do whatever we want because our skin is gorgeous and stands out no matter what. Every day other color people with blonde hair are risking their lives to bake in an oven to get our color to make their hair pop! Quick thinking and coloring inside the lines because that is the real problem. We have to shed the past house vs field skin color mentality. Please realize skin tone cannot and should not stop us from doing whatever we want including going blonde!