WARNING: RANT COMING
If I catch one more skillet-fried, black-as-me, chocolate black woman tryna pull off silky blonde hair, imma snatch her by her wig and slam her face against a beauty salon window.
Violence? Yes, VIOLENCE. EARLY. Look ma, that look ain’t for you. IT’S NOT FOR YOU!!! Trust me, you look ridiculous with those goldie-locks. I can assure you no one’s fooled into thinking that’s your natural hair color. What’s more, it just doesn’t look good. Leave blonde to the Mary J. Blige’s and T-Boz’s of the world. It was never meant for the Naomi Campbell’s and India.Aire’s.
Don’t believe me? I can prove it to you. Watch this.
This is Naomi Campbell.
This is Naomi Campbell on blonde.
But, for serious. Bright hair distracts from a dark-skinned woman’s main attraction: her skin.One undeniably awesome feature of blue-black skin is glow. No blemishes. All that melanin blocking out the UV rays makes for softer, supple, strokable, wrinkle-free skin that stands the test of time. You’re obliterating your natural radiance with that mop of straw you’ve slapped up there. And why? That’s like putting vanilla icing on a chocolate cake. I mean… it can be done, and of course it’ll do in a crunch. But if given a choice, who’d wanna ruin the chocolate experience with pasty white goo? I mean… If you’re gonna have some chocolate cake, have some chocolate icing on it for the love of Jehovah.
*sigh* Ok. This blog’s gone too far. Rant complete.
I don’t know why it especially turds my soup to see dark-skinned girls making bone-head beauty moves. Maybe I should blog more about it - somebody’s gotta tell these girls about the perils of tangerine gloss over purple lips. Perhaps a little more delicately next time? I dunno…*shrug*